Sunday, October 10, 2010


Pipes are manly, period.

Pictured: A real man, complete with pipe and beard
Well, actually, smoking in any form is pretty manly. Think about it: you are ingesting the product of FIRE, MAN'S EARLIEST ALLY AND DEADLIEST FOE, ONE OF THE FUNDAMENTAL DESTRUCTIVE FORCES OF THE UNIVERSE. And you're just sucking that shit down. So fucking manly. And on top of that, you might get cancer from it. Extra manly points.

Cancer? "This is me giving a fuck."
So yeah, while the simple act of smoking is quite manly in and of itself, the use of a pipe bumps up the manliness to untold levels. Pipes are just awesome, end of story. Even if you're filling your pipe with some of that "funny stuff" the hippies like so much instead of good old fashioned tobacco, I ain't gonna judge. Pipes are manly and so are you. Happy smoking.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Facial Hair

The growth of hair on one's face is governed by the release of testosterone in the body. Therefore, facial hair is not only manly, but is actually precipitated by manliness itself. Think about that.

Whether it's just the bare amount of stubble...

...or a classically styled mustache...

...or perhaps even the pinnacle of masculinity that is the Full Beard...

The drummer is not as manly, hence the reduction in facial hair can not deny that facial hair = MANLY POWER. In fact, I have found that there is one, only ONE style of facial hair that does not result in a net increase in the perceived masculinity of the wearer. And that style is... the neckbeard.

Keep that neck clean, boys. I'm gonna go make sweet love to your mother.